why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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