what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
