im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
