Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
