he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
