Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
