Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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