It's like a parade of train wrecks.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm experimenting with sincerity
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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