Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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