Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
