I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It all started with a game of naked twister.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
