She's JV to your varsity
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
