we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
