she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
