So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
