I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
