And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
