I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
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