Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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