there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I will be naked everywhere
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
