Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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