I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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