Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
