Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
