I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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