Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
