I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
