I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
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