Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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