Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
