he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
