Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
