We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
