i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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