I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
