Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
