so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Vodka?
Forever.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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