did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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