happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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