Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
