i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
