Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
