i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
