i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize