she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
