I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
