His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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