It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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