Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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