It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
