Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
