Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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