The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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