a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
