I wish my penis had an off switch
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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